Cleaning Is Harmful To Your Health. (April Fools)

Millions of people around the world are in shock as in the latest study from the prestigious World Research Academy of Sciences and Diseases Incorperated (WRASDinc) has been released to the public.

The Study, which started almost 100 years ago to this day focused on germs and the affects of cleaning upon our society, and the results are conclusive… cleaning is harmful for your health.

You heard that right.. cleaning is harmful for your health.

The study shows that more and more people are using cleaning products to sanitise their surroundings in a hope to not spread germs and disease, but as it turns out, this is even more harmful then jumping into a pool filled with ebola.

The study, in which many scientist lives were lost by accidental cleaning of their equipment, clearly shows that germs and disease is the basic building blocks of our society, and work with our DNA and RNA to keep us healthy and promote positive cell growth.

Speculations that the government was involved in hiding this fact from the public is yet to be proven. We have reporters digging through the presidents trash right now for evidence.

Although this news is good for some lazy people, there has been a backlash from others with a State vs The People lawsuit filed today in the High Royal Court House of New Hampshire. This was a inevitable outcome, but the question is, if the people win, will all governments around the world afford to pay out 200 years of compensation money?

As for us, we are saddened by the news.

We, as many other cleaning businesses in the world are now forced to close down our services. We like other businesses are now looking into other forms of revenue, to keep food on our tables, our never cleaned healthy tables.

Not all is bad news. We have recently started to sell germ filled-septic wipes. Do you have knifes and forks that were accidentally cleaned? Did your baby get caught out in the rain and is now unhealthily clean? Our new Septic Wipes are a easy and fast way to get those germs back where they belong… In your body keeping you safe!

 


How has this news effected your life and work? Are you going to sign the petition to get compensated for years of lies? Do you have any ideas on what services we should provide next?

I’d love to hear about it. Tweet me @zcleanaus or leave a message on our Facebook page with your stories.